Some illnesses announce themselves—casts, scars, chemo hats. Others live in the quiet places of a person’s day: the pause before getting out of bed, the smile that masks a storm, the energy spike that feels like a super-power right before it burns the house down. No two people “wear” breast cancer the same way; no two people even catch a cold the same way. Mental health is the same—only it’s worn internally.

I believe this: if I didn’t have Jesus, my story would read differently. Faith doesn’t erase struggle, but it anchors me when waves rise. And because we don’t wear these battles on our skin, how we handle people matters. Our words can be medicine—or a match.

Below is a plain-spoken, compassionate guide to bipolar disorder, bipolar depression, and major depression—plus how to treat people who are carrying them.

Quick definitions (in everyday language)

Bipolar Disorder (BD)

A mood spectrum condition with swings between high energy states and low energy states. It’s not “moody”; it’s medical.

• Mania (Bipolar I hallmark): days to weeks of unusually high energy and little sleep; feeling invincible; racing thoughts; impulsive spending/decisions; sometimes psychosis (losing touch with reality).

• Hypomania (Bipolar II hallmark): a milder “up”—more productive, charismatic, creative, often invisible to others but still risky if it snowballs.

• Depressive episodes: deep fatigue, slowed thoughts, hopelessness, changes in sleep/appetite, loss of interest, thoughts of death.

Bipolar I = at least one full manic episode (often with depressive episodes).

Bipolar II = at least one hypomanic episode and a major depressive episode (no full mania).

Cyclothymia = years of milder ups and downs that never reach full criteria but still disrupt life.

Bipolar Depression

The depressive side of bipolar disorder. It can look like “regular” depression from the outside but often carries:

• Heavier fatigue and cognitive fog (“brain slowed to a crawl”)

• More irritability or agitation

• High sensitivity to rejection or shame, especially after an “up” period

Important: Traditional antidepressants alone can sometimes worsen cycling in bipolar—this is why accurate diagnosis matters.

Major Depressive Disorder (MDD)

A sustained low that isn’t part of bipolar cycling. Core features:

• Persistent sadness or numbness most days for 2+ weeks

• Loss of interest or pleasure

• Sleep/appetite changes, poor concentration, guilt, low energy

• Thoughts of self-harm or suicide (not always present, but must be taken seriously)

What it feels like on the inside (a human snapshot)

• Mania/Hypomania: “I don’t need sleep. Ideas descend like fireworks. I’m charming, brave, brilliant—and spending money I don’t have. The volume knob on life is stuck on LOUD.”

• Bipolar Depression: “The lights are still on, but my soul is in low-power mode. Shame after the high. I’m exhausted from apologizing and existing.”

• Major Depression: “Everything is gray. Even joy is heavy. I can’t explain why laundry or texts feel like mountains.”

How to treat people (the part that changes lives)

1)

Slow your speech, soften your stance, widen your lens

Before you speak, internalize your words: “Will this add weight or lift it?” Practice SLOW:

• See the person, not the label (“You are not your diagnosis.”)

• Listen fully (no interrupting, no fixing mid-sentence)

• Offer options, not orders (“Would it help to call your therapist together or take a short walk?”)

• Watch your tone (curiosity over judgment)

2) Don’t spiritualize away symptoms—

integrate

care

As a believer I’ll say it plainly: prayer and treatment can coexist. Jesus healed bodies and also honored bread, water, rest. Encourage both clinically wise care and spiritually rooted hope.

Say:

• “I’m praying and I’m with you—want help finding support?”

  
  

  Avoid:

• “Just pray harder,” “Snap out of it,” “Others have it worse.”

3) Use people-first, dignity language

• Say “a person living with bipolar,” not “a bipolar.”

• Say “surviving depression,” not “weak” or “lazy.”

4)

Offer concrete help

Instead of “Let me know if you need anything,” try:

• “I’m going to the store; text me three items.”

• “Can I sit with you during your telehealth appointment?”

• “Want me to handle two emails on your to-do list?”

5)

Set compassionate boundaries

Love does not mean burning out.

• “I care about you and need to sleep. I can talk until 9 pm and again after work at 6.”

  
  

  Boundaries keep relationships safe, not cold.

6)Crisis care (take all risk seriously)

• If someone talks about wanting to die, stay with them (physically or on the line), remove lethal means if possible, and call/text 988 (US) or your local emergency number.

• Say: “Your life matters. I’m not leaving you alone with this.”

What

not

to say (even if you mean well)

• “Have you tried being positive?”

• “But you were fine yesterday.”

• “It’s all in your head.”

• “Other people have it worse.”

• “That’s just your personality.”

What often helps

• “I believe you.”

• “Thank you for trusting me.”

• “You’re not a burden to me.”

• “Let’s make today tiny: shower, oatmeal, one email. I’ll check back at 3.”

• “I’m proud of you for getting help.”

Care pathways (not medical advice—just a roadmap to discuss with a pro)

• Assessment & diagnosis with a licensed clinician (because bipolar vs. unipolar depression matters for medication choices).

• Medication may include mood stabilizers (e.g., lithium, lamotrigine), atypical antipsychotics for acute mania/depression, and cautious use of antidepressants under psychiatric care for bipolar.

• Therapies with strong evidence:

  
  

  • CBT (thought-behavior patterns)

  • DBT (emotion regulation, distress tolerance)

  • IPSRT (stabilizing daily routines/sleep for bipolar)

• 
  

• Rhythm as treatment: consistent sleep, meals, movement, light exposure, and routine is medicine for the brain.

• Peer support & faith communities: grounded, nonjudgmental, confidentiality-honoring spaces.

• Safety plan: warning signs, coping steps, contacts, crisis numbers, and a “means-safety” strategy.

Faith note: when Scripture meets science

For many of us, Jesus is the difference between sinking and learning to breathe underwater. Faith reframes shame: “There is therefore now no condemnation…” (Romans 8:1). We still take our meds, we still go to therapy, and we still pray—because God works through means (doctors, friends, rest) as well as miracles.

A simple breath prayer:

Inhale: Jesus, keep me.

Exhale: I am not alone.

Tiny practices that add up

• 1% Wins: One small win before noon (make bed, step outside, drink water).

• Body Before Brain: Move your body for 5–10 minutes when thoughts are racing or heavy.

• Reach Rule: Text one safe person by 2 pm—“Green, Yellow, or Red day?” (color-code your mood).

• Word Audit: Before speaking, ask: Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind?

For loved ones & leaders (scripts)

• At work: “I value your contribution. If you need a brief pause, take 10 and slack me when you’re back. Let’s prioritize three tasks for today.”

• At church/community: “We’ve got space for feelings here. Want prayer, practical help, or both?”

• At home: “I notice you’re quieter. Walk, nap, or food—pick one and I’ll do it with you.”

If today is heavy

• Text or call 988 (US) for immediate support.

• Tell one person, “I’m not okay. Please stay on the line.”

• Choose one tiny action: shower, sunlight, sandwich, safe friend.

We don’t hype ourselves up; other people’s issues—and our own unexamined words—often do. So let’s internalize our words before we outwardly use them. Speak life. Handle people like they’re carrying glass and gold at the same time—because they are.